I shouldn't be diary-ing this now when I'm not at the best of mood. Semi-argued with J last night and it's not solved yet because he hung up.. Sometimes its like I wonder why do we agree on things that J will never do/at least try to? It's always sorry sorry sorry and that's it. He'll never put in any effort to give me something else for a change..

My brain keeps telling me to quit before everything gets worse but yet my heart keeps yearning for more love from J.

I wished J was still like how he portrayed to be, initially when we first met... So shy, so gentle, a man bursting with overflowing love and concern for his first girlfriend...

I know he can be, but he just chooses not too... and that's what making me sad :"(
new past