Day 1
Saturday, August 30, 2014, ϟ 0 shout(s)
The first thing on my mind when I woke up was you- like it has always been for the past 5 years. What should we do today? where should we go for our usual Saturday breakfast. Then it hit me.. I forced myself not to text you to tell you how much I missed you. Forced myself out of bed cause every moment laying down reminds me of you lying down next to me on my bed. Went down to the garden, and then there I am reminded how you would wait there for me till its safe to come in. Back in my room packing my scrapbook items back to its box and I am reminded how everyone of them i bought, so i could make you something special.
What has happened? Why didn't I notice something was wrong? I was always the one picking on small things here and there but why didn't I ever see such a big thing like this coming?
Tears fell uncontrollably down..I washed my face, went back to the bed, and the tears just came again. Even as I'm typing now, I have on my lap a towel and a box of tissue paper..(just cleaned off tears..)
I have to be strong. I know i made you happy, but there are times where I made you tremendously hurt. We set each other apart so we will hurt each other no more, but to love each other at a distance..I know you're still sleeping now, because I've made you so tired caring for me..
Thank you for meeting me yesterday, and giving me the kind of closure I wanted. You mean everything to me. I pray that you stay safe, always.
new past