Been escaping from reality, forcing you out of my mind when the only thing on my mind is you. I have been such a failure..telling myself I can do it I can do this I can get through it everyday when all I think about is you. I even forced myself not to write anything here cause I don't want to be such a loser but deep down I am just one. I can't do anything without you, I can't do anything without worrying about you, I can't do anything without missing you.. (stop falling tears ://)
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Things to be grateful for:
You
Mum(Cherlyn) being back and spending time w me, and though I am horrible and majority of the time I'm physically there but my thoughts are w j. Virgin experience at XXX and you took care of me and held me throughout so that no one can bully me.
Mum(real) who didn't get mad but tried to console me although it's not working but I appreciate it alot.

I know I miss you. I know I also love you. And I know my heart and soul yearns for you. But I know I've hurt you. And I made you sad. So everyday. I'm fighting. Fighting to be strong. Fighting though every part of me just wants to give up. You were my light and path.. You are everything.
new past