Yesterday, I made you so so so mad. That was the first time I've seen you that way..and it hit me..I am no longer who I am to you. You are working so hard to put our relationship behind, because you no longer love me the same way. I made a fool of myself, asking you if you would give me another chance..I can't live without you (can't stop crying :'( ) I don't know how to face everything from now on alone.. You were my pillar and my strength, now I just feel like a lifeless person, and waking up everyday is me having to live through torture everyday.. You said it's you, but why didn't you let me know earlier so I could have done something? Why did you have to pent your feelings up and then drop a bomb on me? You are everything to me, my future, my happiness, my hope and now I have nothing.. I don't want you to see me this way, so weak, so hopeless, so uncontrollable, but yet you keep seeing my dark side and the more you see it the more you conclude that you made the right choice for us.. But its not..It's not the right choice because its hurting me and you, so so much. Why can't you stop being so hard on yourself and putting a barrier between me and you.

I love you so much. And I miss you so so much. This time you agreed to help me through this, I hope you mean it..because I just feel like crumbling...I just feel like ending everything so that the pain will stop. I don't want you to think about me. I want you to be happy. But yet at the same time I want you to think about me because I'm thinking about you 24 hours of the day. And I want you to be happy with me..Am I selfish? I just want you for myself..

It's driving me mad that I miss you so much, my heart is so so so so jetlagged, my heart is so so so so jetlagged.
new past