It has been a week since we broke up..(I cried for 1 hour before coming here and I only stopped..cause I couldn't breathe) I thought about it and I figured, everytime we're about to go through a big change, ending A's, you going into army, me going into uni, you ending army, you starting work, me going overseas for a month, you finally going into uni, our relationship can't handle it.. I shouldn't be blaming myself for anything right now because it always takes 2 to clap.. I cry and cry and I don't feel like doing anything, cause everything I do makes me think about you, and its literally gut-wrenching and I feel this painful feeling in my heart and stomach.. but this is just the way things go.. Love is our greatest joy and pain at the same time. I know that its normal that I feel so raw after a week, but I know its hurting me whenever I think of what I could have done differently. Sure, some things I could have changed, but who is to say that those things are what you are looking for?

I've decided- I will give myself a time limit to be sad. I am generally a happy person and you know I can overcome this and no matter how much I think I will fail, I will try my best because you always know me better and believe in me so much more than I myself do. I will give myself a time to be sad, and after that and from then, I want to be happy regardless my circumstance. I have to, because I know when I am unhappy, it hurts you and I don't want too. I want you to be happy. That is what the important thing is, you and I to be happy, loving each other from afar.
new past